If you come from generations of public or private school graduates, the idea of withdrawing your child from school, especially to homeschool, can be absolutely terrifying!
To withdraw your child from school, plan when you would like to do so. It should never be done on impulse. Consider all your options. Check your state’s laws. Complete required paperwork efficiently and on time – A cordial attitude and tight paperwork will expedite the process. Obtain his records and any books or materials they will allow you to take.
This article is a “quick start guide” to show you how to remove your child from school, even if you’re not quite sure about where he goes from there.
Table of Contents
- My Story of Withdrawing my Son from School(s)
- First Steps to Withdrawing your Child from School
- “I Got Him Out of that School….Now What?”
- Resources for Further Exploration
My Story of Withdrawing my Son from School(s)
Little did I know, when I waved a tearful goodbye to my son on his first day of Kindergarten, that his love for school would last exactly three weeks. We spent the next two months trying to make it a good fit, before we had to admit that it wasn’t.
I’m not alone! Increasingly, parents are opting out of public school systems, and this decision often comes on suddenly. Last Fall, in New York City alone…
…public schools saw a drop of 31,000 students, more than 3% of the city’s enrollment.
Chalkbeat New York
It’s not that these decisions are made rashly; typically, there is increasing dissatisfaction, and you hit a point where your gut tells you it’s time to move on….but then what?
Are IEPs Good for Homeschool?
His parent-teacher conference was to be the first week of December. My plan was to use this meeting to see what resources were available for my son. If there were no options, I would withdraw him from the school then and there… which is pretty much what happened. I had my son continue to attend the class until Christmas break.
I am very glad I didn’t accept the one idea the teacher had, which was to start the process for an IEP (Individualized Education Plan). As promising as the name sounds, I suspected I might get more than I bargained for, and I was correct – You don’t make that Education Plan for your little Individual, whom you know better than anyone else; the school department does, and some states will hold you to that Plan, even if you decide to homeschool.
By my son’s last “school day,” I still didn’t know what to do next; but I collected all of his records from the school, saying that he was going to be transferring to a private school, and that we were still trying to settle on one.
Don’t be Self-Conscious – Kids Come & Go from School All the Time
I was afraid the school would give me a hard time about my indecision, but they took it completely in stride. Frankly, if I had told them I was considering homeschooling him, I think they would’ve been a lot more difficult and intrusive. Whether they have a right to be that way or not, it is not unusual to run up against a gatekeeper type who thinks she’s saving your child…from you. In my son’s case, he actually did start at a Christian school, the following month.
The Christian school was great for the rest of Kindergarten, not-so-great for Grade 1, and a disaster for Grade 2. There we were, two years later, leaving school in December again; this time, to homeschool.
First Steps to Withdrawing your Child from School
Make a plan first. Avoid just randomly yanking you child out of school, if possible.
Start by checking on your state’s homeschooling laws. One little housekeeping detail of homeschooling is that you may need to submit some form of paperwork to your local school system. Regardless of the specifics of your planned curriculum, you want to be efficient and inconspicuous about the legal stuff, and that begins with knowing the law. In my Resources section, at the bottom of this article, you will find a link from the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), which will take you to an interactive map that has the homeschooling laws by state. HSLDA does a great job of showing you exactly what you need to know, even providing you with templates of any paperwork your state might require. They make it easy to understand, too, because they know what an overwhelming time this is for parents.
Is Homeschooling Paperwork Hard?
When you sit down to fill out the forms, don’t panic! It can feel a lot like filling out your 1040 – But much worse! With the 1040, you are reporting something that already happened; but homeschooling forms ask you to be completely honest about something you haven’t done yet!
If you have already chosen a packaged curriculum, these forms are very easy. If, however, you’re putting together your own materials, the forms can become problematic – What if the school rejects your choices? The fact is, planning your child’s school year down to the millisecond, and then turning in every detail to school officials practically invites conflict. What if you decide to go with a different book, or want to try a couple before settling on one? One of the advantages of homeschooling is the flexibility to make a change, when you see that it would benefit your child.
How to Submit Airtight Homeschooling Paperwork
There is also an awkward time factor involved. For example, my town usually didn’t get around to approving my plan until well into December, not exactly a good time to suddenly have a forced change your child’s curriculum. That is also not a good time to get infected with a case of DBM (Death By Meeting). I’ve heard many conversations between homeschool parents, crowing about how they went toe-to-toe with local school officials, showing up at the school department with Tupperware-on-wheels full of materials to dicker with them, and how many meetings it took, before they “won the day.” That’s all very stunning and brave, I suppose; but where the heck did they find the time?? Homeschooling usually involves being home, teaching school.
The best way I found to expedite bulletproof paperwork is to fill it in using the curriculum list from a curriculum company’s website, then design my curriculum after. This way, my completed paperwork ended up being a pretty good guide for my planning. Ironically, doing this led me to find a packaged curriculum that I really liked and could afford; but during our “eclectic” years, this paperwork hack saved me a load of time, anxiety, and uncertainty (I’ve linked a sample below, from publisher Memoria Press).
“I Got Him Out of that School….Now What?”
If you’re switching to homeschooling after your child has already started the school year, the most practical thing you can do is pick up where he left off. See if they will give you your child’s curriculum and materials, and let them know that it is your intention that your child finish what he started in their classroom.
Going from a Christian school made this easy for us, because I didn’t disapprove of (most of) their curriculum; it was just going too slow for my son. Even if you dislike the materials he’s been using, take them, anyway. First, they will help you assess what he’s already learned, so you can plan the rest of the year. They also provide you with a school-friendly answer for your local school department, should they require (by your state’s laws) an accounting of your plans.
